Posted 01:10 by Tycho

Good morning. Just got back in from the party.

It was alot of fun. Very relaxing.

I got to see Jen, and I talked to her, and she knows where I stand. Things aren't a total loss with her, I don't think. She just needed time away from me, I guess, which is understandable after how I've been acting. Hopefully we'll be able to hang out more often, though.

Pretty much I told her that for the past 2 weeks, I haven't been who I normally am. It was caused by high levels of stress, and my seemingly huge crush on her actually was just my mind's way of coping with the sudden surge in stress levels, just as my inability to eat was my body's way of coping with it. I do like her, but its definitely more as a friend than anything else (not going to turn her down if she asks me out [fat chance], but I'd be more than happy to see her going out with a guy like Josh**). I hope she recognized this when I was talking to her, and maybe we'll start talking again normally soon. **Of course, I'd still be a little hurt, lets be honest here, but Josh is a really good guy, and I think that they'd make a wonderful couple.

To be fair, she did see me just hanging out in the kitchen by myself (Josh had taken the seat next to her, and he likes to flirt alot, and when he flirts, I tend to do so as well, but I had promised myself not to flirt until I knew for sure she was cool with it, and so, to avoid temptation, I went to sit in the kitchen and watch TV and grab a quick bite to eat).

Much to my surprise, a few minutes later, she came in and sat down to hang out with me. I really appreciated that effort to close the divide that had appeared between us. Its still there, but its alot smaller.

I've been avoiding being stressed, and my crush on her has almost gone away completely (not totally, but when does a crush ever go completely away?). My worry was that we couldn't be friends anymore, especially after the past few days. After tonight, I have hope that we will remain friends, and maybe become closer friends than we were before. I don't know, but I have hope.

Ok, I think you've all read so much about Jen and my other situation to the point that you're sick of it. So, onward to more pleasant subjects.

I picked up a chainmail shirt today, along with a pair of greaves (to go with my bracers) for the event tomorrow. Its a combat tournament. Oh, also grabbed a bow from Steve (30 lb draw force). Its more accurate than my 15 lb draw force, and it has a farther effective range. Tomorrow should be fun. I say "should" because it has the potential to not be fun, but so does every event.

Time to rest.