Posted 12:26 by Tycho

My ability to eat has grown exponentially. I've eaten more today so far than I have at any one time for the past couple weeks. I don't care whether I put on fat or muscle, another few days and I would have been down in the 130s...or as my roommate Bill put it, "so you're almost down into the fat-chick weight range". Ok, assmunch, how about some respect for women? Oh wait, you're a cynical bastard! (And thats why we all love having you as a roommate). But I am in good health now, or rather, better health. I have to thank my parents, my friends, and God for that. Thanks for listening to me and getting me back on track, I couldn't have done it without you guys.

I should be doing history reading, but I feel a little stressed out, so I'm backing up for a few minutes to take it easy. I should also be working on Stress Analysis homework.

if its one thing I've learned this past week, its that my health is more important than my classes. I mean, I'm 19 years old, and there are a few gray hairs working in! NOT COOL! I never expected to need "Just for Men" this early in my life. Maybe if I were 50 (if I ever live to see my 50th birthday, that is :-P).

Ok, I am going to make a major decision in my life very soon (a few weeks). And here it is:

I am of the mind to enlist in the Army National Guard as a combat engineer, or artilleryman (worse comes to worst, a rifleman), and attend OCS and become an officer. I've always wanted to be a soldier, and I've always wanted to serve my nation. My parents are worried (for obvious reasons). Sure, its hazardous, but I want to prove to myself a few things. I want to prove that I can push through any physical or mental challenge presented. I want to prove that I am not some scrawny pipsqueak. I want to prove that I can keep cool under pressure. That I can shove fear off to the side. That when the time comes and we are under fire, I will not have a trace of fear, that I will be able to do my duty, and that I hold the safety and well-being of my friends above my own personal safety.

But then the old saying comes to mind: "He who needs to prove himself is nothing."

Am I nothing? Possibly. But it will not stop me from reaching my goals, whatever they may be.

There, I'm sorry to put you through that philosophical bullshit. My roommates are rubbing off on me (they are doing sufficiencies in philosophy). Philosophocalize this, you f*cking bastards!!! (Note: must be done while giving both middle fingers, else it loses some of its theatric effect).

I'm also inwardly laughing at Bill because he's got to get up at like 6:45 tomorrow to go look at different houses around Worcester. Its a mean thing to do, I know, but its my duty to give him shit whenever possible, just as its his duty to do the same to me.

I looked at the Stress Analysis homework, and felt the sudden urge to slam my head against the nearest hard object repeatedly. Neg that. Second nearest (the nearest is the steel bedframe on my bed), so that'd make the hard surface of choice a good patch of dry wall.

Such is life, I'm ready to fight it.