Posted 17:16 by Tycho

My life is falling into a void. Not the void of a couple weeks ago, not as bad as that one.

This time around its to do with my courses. Two of them are going quite well (Creative Writing and European History)...the third, however, is not.

Stress Analysis is giving me gray hairs. I've seen them. They're even in my moustache. That pisses me off (and hence my stress level goes even higher beyond the "healthy" range).

Its a very interesting class, and I understand EVERYTHING that's been said so far, and all that I've read. Whenever there is a quiz though, all my wits leave me and I become a babboon capable only of looking (and being!) stupid. I called my parents and told them that there is a VERY good chance of me NRing the course. Its really good to have understanding parents. The only way they'd be mad at me for NRing a course was if I didn't work my hardest for it. That's already been covered--approximately 6 hours per day on stress homework alone, nevermind the reading for the course, or my other two courses. I shouldn't be complaining--I'm always busy, but sometimes I need to take the rest of the night off and just relax and hang out...and I can't, or else I'll fall behind in the homework.

Did I mention that due to our 7 week terms, classes are taught at a quicker and more vigorous pace (instead of 4-5 courses, however, we take 3, so its a trade off)? If ANYONE gets behind for any reason, they are screwed. Plain and simple. If I missed a single day of Stress Analysis, I'm looking at 3 or 4 twelve hour days to get back up to speed.

To add to the pressure, I feel lonely. No, not "lonely" as in not hanging out and needing to go out with the guys and relax and have fun--I am able to do that Mondays and the weekends (I make time on Mondays for that, but then I have to work that much harder after I get back, but its worth it). By "lonely" I mean romantically I'm lonely. I'm back into my rut of not being able to ask a girl out due to fear, and that doesn't help. There is a girl that lives across the way that I'd like to ask out, but I don't think she has any interest at all in dating me. Enough bitching about that. If I'm afraid to ask a girl out, I don't deserve a girlfriend, simple...aka, if I'm not willing to take the risk, I have no right to reap the benefits.

Ok, recap of Monday night. Met with Josh, Seth, and Steve in the Wedge, and then we went to Tortilla Sam's to eat. Came back. Went to fight practice and used my bow--its only a 15 lb draw force though, so its not exactly powerful by hunting standards (if you get hit by a full draw, though, it WILL hurt like crazy--I don't care how much foam is on the end of the arrow...in fact, I got hit with a LIGHT draw [due to range], and it hurt like a sonofabitch).

My accuracy is quite good when I'm trying to take down moving targets. It, however, sucks, when I go for objects that are standing still.

The skill level I'm at is to the point where I can hit a running target at about 20 yards...which is a little beyond maximum effective range for the draw force and type of arrow (if it were a normal target arrow, it would be good for maybe 75 yards, due to the reduced surface area on the tip).

I need to get started on making medieval poems, stories, and bardics...lots of inspiration there due to my interest in the time period. A period of honor, chivalry, and personal combat.

Combat nowadays is impersonal, so we lose focus on how truely barbaric it is. At least back then, there was no true way to wage war without fighting on the personal level (only archers could get out of this, as they were the "snipers" of the day). No one kid themselves about what happens during a fight. Men were also quite alot stronger back then, if they were noble, for their childhood they would be squired, and they would be trained in the arts of war and peace. Archers had exceptional upper body strength. Has anyone ever tried pulling a 50 lbf draw bow? Its almost impossible to do unless you've weightlifted for a long time. I can barely do it.

Actually, that just gave me a thought for my next poem for Creative Writing...well, the next series of poems...do something like the Battle in the Whispering Woods ("A Clash of Kings"--George R. R. Martin), to convey the anger and brutality of combat and the singing of steel (and yes, steel DOES sing, its not just from the movies, though the movies do enhance and overexaggerate the sound).

I need to find a place that will teach me to fight with live steel (blunted edges, of course). Maybe even learn horse back riding so I will be able to joust. I mean, I've learned how to make chainmail (one of the homemade shirts my friend made has been tested while he was wearing it--we were using a razor sharp machete), and even though it can go up to 60 lbs total on that, its very good protection from everything except piercing blows (lunging with a sword, getting hit by an arrow, driving a pike through, etc.).

Ok, got to go do some homework, bye all, see ya on the flip side.