Posted 00:53 by Tycho

I've got seven minutes to waste...HELP ME!!!

Then it's off to kuckucksheim for me, because I've got to get up at 8 for a lab at 9. Then a lab at 12. Then Dynamics homework!

If I'm lucky, I might have 20 minutes to relax before sleeping. Oh, right, and have time to exercise indoors, since it is REALLY cold out. And really snowy.

Yes, eating raw eggs is very bad for you. Very. Very. Bad. Trust me on this one...from personal experience! It's a good way to start worshipping the throne, other than drinking. I don't know how people could ever think about doing that.

Pet peeve: liberals constantly poking fun at my republicanism. People slurping. People throwing boiling oil on me while I'm asleep (that shit is HOT...repeat FUCKING HOT), falling out of bed, dealing with homework, spilling boiling bacon grease on myself (that is how I learned to dance). Walking into walls is up there. As is slamming my head off the iron bedframe (who would ever think that iron is really hard?)

*Ducks behind barrier*

Ok, we've got an opening. You, you go down there, run into the jail, and grab the flag. Matt, MATT! You're to go down with him and draw enemy fire from him. If he's hit, congratulations, you've just been promoted to flagcarrier! Anyways, you run around in the open and cover his escape. Protect him...be a meat shield if need be. I can't send anyone else down...you're expendable...just remember that and you'll do fine.

*Cringes at memory*

Whatever you do, don't fall out. If you do, there is a good chance of dying if you aren't rescued within a couple of minutes. First off, your foot my get caught in the rocks. Worst case scenario: you drown. Best case scenario: your ankle snaps and you loose the foot, but you live. If that doesn't kill you, the water temperature today is 28 degrees Fahrenheit...you will contract hypothermia within a very short while.

--Speech given before tackling the Dead River at 8000 cfs (cubic feet per second)...making much of it a Class 5 rapid.