Posted 20:41 by Tycho

Ok, in response to Chris's challenge (to be referred to as "CJ Fox's Booty Joke of the Week" or CJFBJotW for short), here is my post for a "Pants Party", and what it entails.

[Content editted out due to polite request. Was not meant to be offensive.]

WARNING!: This post is not for minors, due to possible (and very very likely) nakedity and bootiness. THIS MEANS YOU!

PANTS PARTY RULES!

Few sentences? Check. 10 rules? Check. Insanity? Oh fucking hell yeah! Erm...check.

Rules: A pants party is where everyone shows up, wearing pants. It is a contest, where the winner is able to take off [read: rip off] everyone else's pants by the end of the evening. This game works alot better with one male and lots of females...and even better when there is lots of alcohol present. There are 10 very simple and basic rules to this game:

1. Admission to this party is no less than $10.00 per person, with $5.00 for every extra pair of pants underneath the exterior layer (including "underpants", because "pants" is in the word). Half the admission price will go towards food and booze. The other half will go to the winner of the "Pants Party".

2. Belts, suspenders, and/or any other pant support devices (including jock straps) are not allowed, as they are not in the spirit of the competition. You will be considered graciously unprofessional and immediately thrown out (after entrance fee is paid, of course). Why are jock straps included? They are hard to take off, even if you're doing it without assistance...trust me.

3. Now, to discourage outright ripping off of clothing, the victim must be COMPLETELY unaware of your presence. Knocking a contestant unconcious is against the rules, and can be very dangerous. Drugging them is still allowed though, for paranoia's sake. You MUST stop your declothing attempt within 10 seconds of your target being aware of their predicament. This allows you a chance to undo buttons and/or undo zippers.

4. If a button or zipper is undone, it may NOT be redone. This would make for an unbearably long party. Once a piece of clothing is removed, it may not be put back on.

5. Each guest is required to drink 2 shots of 75 proof alcohol or higher (or its equivalent) PER HOUR, at minimum.. This encourages boldness and daring. Not to mention groping. This means that no person under the age of 21 may touch the alcohol. That does not mean they may not funnel it, because their lips and mouths will not touch it. In fact, funneling is highly recommended and encouraged. While drinking, a person is immune to having clothes being removed, due to the chances of spilling of drinks.

6. Once a person is showing a naked bottom (everyone likes naked bottoms, right?), they have been eliminated from the game. They may not remove the pants of others. They are still under compulsion to follow Rule #5, to add flavor to the evening. They are also not allowed to reclothe themselves. If they refuse to follow Rule #5, they are to be banned from further "Pants Parties".

7. Kilts/Skirts are not allowed, as there is no reason to attempt to remove those articles of clothing. All bearers of these clothing fashions will be forced to remove said clothing at the door.

8. Pants Parties must start at 5:00 PM, and continue until there is a clear winner. This allows enough time for large amounts of alcohol to be imbibed.

9. Doors, windows, shades, blinds, etc., must remain shut for the entirety of the party. We aren't giving a free show to the public, you know.

10. The house in which the party is being held must be no higher than 55 degrees Fahrenheit. This makes things much more interesting and funny.