Tycho

Posted 22:30 by Tycho

Happy New Year, readers!

First post in a long time...but hey, why not? Got a few things to cover here before I pass out for the night. One thing that needs to be covered is a short list of do's and don'ts of New Years Eve.

1. DO purchase liquor. Lots of it.

2. DO bring two forms of identification, in case the 18 year old cashier is to blitzed to read the first one properly.

3. DON'T drink the alcohol in the parking lot. With a cop watching you. Then attempting to drive away.

4. When the cop pulls you over, DON'T pass him your car owner's manual and belligerently insist it is your license and registration.

5. DON'T offer the cop a sip of Godiva Chocolate Liquor. Yes, it tastes Willy Wonka's Finest, but now he'll nail your ass for drunken driving AND for interfering with an officer of the law. And resisting arrest, as you stupidly handed him your car owner's manual instead of your driver's license and registration.

6. If you order Chinese food, DO come to pick it up an hour later than they tell you. You'll still have another half hour to wait, anyways.

7. Mars Attacks! is a great movie to end the year with.

8. Persuant to #6, DON'T cop a feel with the cute girl next to you. You still have another fucking hour to wait for your damn food, you fool!

9. DO remind the guy who took your order that your name is "Johnson", not "Todd" or "Tom".

10. The Three Stooges were originally from Lithuania.

11. DO shoot your friends during a drive-by...with a nerf Tommy gun. Not on New Year's Eve.

That's all for now. I'd post a comic I made if it didn't suck like a whore on Main St. Good night everyone. Happy New Year.