Posted 00:49 by Tycho

Figured out why I was pissed and jealous.

I miss hanging with Jen (no, you retards, not in a NOOSE). And due to my limited perspective, it seems that everyone else that knows her gets to hang out with her whenever they feel like it (example: because they have cars), and I don't.

After thinking objectively, I've found its much like how I'm jealous for a couple hours every Friday night, because I know you guys'll be going in town. And I miss that.

Do I make sense here?

But what I did say earlier was true...I was told that there was always room for me...but that offer was never backed up--I mean, how can I go if I'm not informed?

I guess I felt REALLY left out, and got into one of those depressive "sorry for myself" moods that I sometimes swing into.

I felt left out because despite being told that I was always welcome to go with him, I really truely wasn't--its obvious because he never tried to contact me or tell me about it. And so I got rather pissed about that--he wasn't being completely straight with me.

And therefore, I felt unwelcome and left out. Hence the start of my huge ass post that was inflammatory and upsetting and assholish. I should have THOUGHT before venting.

Aye, now when one of them sees this, its going to be severe "ouch time". But I'm ready, for whatever happens, happens, and all I can do is roll with the punches and play the cards life has dealt me.

I can't fault him for not telling me. What I dislike immensely is how I was told that it'd be really cool and fun if I went...yet I end up left out. But hell, he WAS delivering her birthday present, so he had his reasons, and they are perfectly understandable.

So, to recap:

1. I SEVERELY overreacted. I'm sorry. I'll try to make it up to you guys as best I can...its gonna take a damn long time, but I owe a debt of honor here.

2. I've learned to deal with these thoughts and feelings. Its simple: don't get them in the first place. There was a reason for me to feel like that, but was it really worth it? All it did was make me feel jealous and envious, and at the very worst, could cost me 2 friends. I did the math far too late....and the results weren't good...not good at all.

3. I feel excellent right now...other than having to get up at 0700 hours.

4. Have fun Friday guys. Don't hit on the waitresses at Jillian's or anything. Remember, thats MY job. As I'm the TRUE pimpmaster funk around here, and you guys best not infringe upon my territory! :-P

Oh, and Chuck...don't you think $4.50 for a beer is a little too expensive? Try going to a liquor store :-D.

5. I'm in a silly mood right now. Legs hurt like hell though. Maybe not stretching properly after a 5.5 mile run wasn't such a good idea as I thought it was at the time.

Au revoir, mes amis. Fare ye well, and I'll have better news and entertainment for tomorrow. No more of this me bitching for no reason bullshit. Well, maybe some of that, but not on the subject of tonight. Only funny stuff, like how I sprinted across 495 naked in the morning and some guys tried to run me down. Well, ok, only funny stuff thats real.

About the funniest thing I can think of right now is when I got my toe stuck in the wheel of my bike and I did flip on it. Or how I got hit with a bottle rocket at the Squantum Bonfire.

Or how I lit my feet on fire four times one night (hell, I had reason!!!).

I just pray that everyone give me a chance to redeem myself here. I know I probably don't really deserve it all that much, but I can always hope.

La mieux de la chance a tout le monde! And good night!