Posted 01:03 by Tycho

I don't know how to describe my life now.

Sure, I passed Stress Analysis. But at what a price.

For those of you who care, I'm still deeply hurt, completely devastated, however you want to draw parallels to it. No matter what you call it, my heart has been made into a pincushion, and thrown off to the side, like some sort of cheap toy.

Instead of getting anxiety attacks now, there is just a deep sense of sadness, depression, regret, and sometimes anger is mixed in as well...and it doesn't leave. I always have this feeling of being empty, that there is something missing in my life. Clinical depression? Maybe. Should really make an appointment to get checked out and find out if it is or not.

If anyone wants to talk about it, you know how to contact me.

Life, on the whole, has gotten better. Sure, my heart feels like its been ripped out, spit on, torn apart, then have tons of salt be ground into it, but I don't have my classes (aka Stress Analysis) hanging out me.

I was able to hang out with my friends tonight. We went into Boston. First stop? CambrideSide Galleria. Ate there (mmm...Bourbon chicken...), Chris picked up a couple Alien and Predator figure sets, along with AvP 2 and its expansion pack (way to go...you bought the expansion pack TWICE! Good thing you double checked the package, and were able to return it).

Then off to the Barracks, where I foolishly got stuck in a French paratroopers helmet (evidently this gentleman had seen action, if the dents in the helmet were any sign of it). Turned out I was trying to undo the wrong strap...man did I feel stupid. Then went to Virgin Records and played Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike for over a half hour (good stuff!). After that, Jillian's was our destination. Bastard bouncer insisted that I take off my scally cap. We played lots of foosball, and did alot of talking. Promised Haviland I'd go through and tell him my entire story of woe from the beginning tomorrow...not looking forward to that. Probably see some waterworks...oh well, it takes a man to cry.

I had a great time tonight...it was so damned good to see the guys again. Aye, I wish I could be as happy and cheery as I was tonight all the time. Wish I may, wish I might, the stars have forsaken me again this night.

There is more I want to put here, but I don't know how to say it, so I'll have to wait to write them down for general viewing.

Good night ladies (if any read my blog, that is) and gentlemen.