Posted 18:14 by Tycho

I guess I've put this post off long enough...been doing so since 1600 hours.

So, I went to my West Street House appointment at 1300 hours today. Talked to a helpful gentleman for over an hour.

Good news: he highly doubts that I'm going insane, or anything close, regardless of what I think. He said that just the fact that I'm still going to class and doing work proves that I have the strength to continue on...most crazy people don't. He also mentioned that he can see an inner strength in me because of my unwillingness to just give up and my determination to fix everything up. I'll trust his opinion on this because my opinion still says I'm going insane, but he's the expert, and unbiased.

He was surprised to hear that I'm going for broke in Stress and am going to make an honest attempt to do as well in the next 9 days as possible...he remarked that by this point, in this condition, most people are ready to surrender to the pressure and just not try anymore. I'll be honest, that option was really tempting, and I almost went down that road, until I talked to Steve (Duncan) last night. More on talking with him, later, though.

Alright. Back on subject. Told him everything as well and honest as I can remember it (I'm sure some stuff got jumped around a bit, unfortunately, due to perspective). He got a pretty clear picture of whats going on relatively quickly. I've got another appointment with him for Thursday at 1300 hours.

The one thing he found out is that instead of giving me distance, like everyone did, I needed close support of everyone, instead. He wants me to try and talk to as many of my friends as possible about everything, too, because that will help make it easier for me to deal with, get a load off my back, and that way everyone is on the same page and won't think I'm a freak or anything.

Secondly, he wants me to try to talk to Josh and Jen. Thats not quite so easy as item #1. Get everything cleared. Maybe not immediately, he said, possibly gradually, or wait a while and then talk in retrospect, so it might be easier to deal with. I want this situation to end, and I will do whatever it takes to do so...unfortunately, that includes the possibility of breaking off contact with Josh and Jen and not being their friend ever again...which was a viable solution to the problem that the guy only wants me to take as a last resort. He gave me options to think about.

He made the point that Stress is over in 9 days, and the course will end then. He said to not be surprised if I can't fix everything up socially by then, either...he said to rebuild trust and friendship takes time, sometimes a short amount, other times it can take a long long time.

I'm hoping for the short amount. But I'll take what life gives me. Off to a meeting, more later!