Posted 09:55 by Tycho

Ok, so I'm not so great. Another stress quiz today...had to wing it for this one. And I mean big time.

Another thing. There's someone that I used to talk to alot...not much anymore. They insist that they want to hang out with me and talk to me.

Their actions do not follow what they said. First off, they NEVER hang out with me, whenever they're up here. They're always hanging out with someone else...doesn't give a call to see if I'd like to hang out, doesn't drop by to say hello...nothing--I only find out that they were up here after the fact..."Oh, I wish I could come up to Worcester more often to hang out"...yeah, say that to someone who will believe it, because I sure as hell don't. And on the rare chance I do see them, I really don't get to talk to them...probably get about 30 seconds of talking before this other person (same person, every time) joins in, and then I'm just cast to the side, forgotten. Thanks a lot...friends, eh?

And they say they want to talk to me...I don't really believe that anymore, either. I'm done...they never IM me to talk...its always me IMing them. If they really wanted to stay friends and talk, etc., how much effort does it take to open up an IM just to say hi? Not a whole damn lot. I'm tired of always being the one to start a conversatioin.

I really can't believe that they want to hang out and talk to me--their actions certainly don't match their words.

I understand that the person in question MIGHT read this (or that "other person"), and if they do, I'm in deep, deep shit with them (well, more than I am already). But this is how I feel. I feel like they've lied to me repeatedly about things. Damnit, tell me the truth. If you don't want to hang out and talk, then tell me! Save me the time worrying and trying to salvage a friendship, and save yourself the time and being bugged by me.

I'm sorry, everyone...I've been a shithead for the past 6-7 weeks...I'm trying to make up for it...I'm trying to make amends and fix things...but all my efforts fall apart, and they're all for naught. I guess I'm still a nervous wreck.

The only reason I put that here was I needed to explode at something...and I'd prefer at a webpage rather than my roommates, or at any of my friends that I haven't lost. If I didn't get that out of my system, it would have bottled up, and it would have come out at the most inappropriate of moments (like that thing from Coupling, Chris, the giga--crap, can't remember). Also, if I didn't get it out, I'd just be bitter and wouldn't be able to get work done and I would worry about it.

Now I've got to get to class...take care, and stay safe.